Pain
by charmed4eva112
Summary: The words died down, the shouting decreased, until finally a dangerous look in her eyes and three little words spat out of her ruby red lips. “I hate you.” Footsteps retreating from the scene, as I watched her go, knowing we had just broken up. For good.


**AN: So, I am in the mood for some serious angst right now. So, sadly, after reading a House MD story (one of the shows I am currently obsessed about, the other show being The Latest Buzz. Go Noah/Rebecca!), a Chase/Cameron angst story, this little oneshot popped in my head. Be warned, very VERY angsty, and no happy ending for anyone. So, enjoy! So, try to figure out the couple. I'll mention the couple I thought of at the end, or near to it. Though it might be painfully obvious after a while.**

My happiness crumbled in an instant moment.

Despair and anger filled me, boiling up through my skin and hands, up to my brain, which didn't comprehend much at that single moment. Words spit out of her lips like wildfire, accusations being thrown at me.

I barely understood her logic, where this all was coming from. My hand subconsciously clenched, though I would never hit her. She was much too fragile and beautiful for that. We were outside, it was after dinner. The date had started out so innocently, so fun. One little glance at the dirty blonde girl sitting in the corner with her boyfriend, and everything turned.

I shouted words back at her, angry and accusations thrown at her as well. I accused her of being close-comforted with her ex boyfriend. She denied it, just as I denied all her accusations of not being in love with her, and cheating on her with other beautiful women every night.

We took our fighting outside. It felt awful, my life and knowledge falling apart, everything I thought I knew about her changed in an instant. Mistakes thrown around, words lashing out as people stared. The couple that were supposed to be perfect, not so perfect anymore. It hurt the fight. Well, not really, since I was on an adrenaline rush, but I knew it would impact me later.

Finally, the words died down, the shouting decreased, until finally a dangerous look in her eyes and three little words spat out of her ruby red lips.

"I hate you."

Footsteps retreating from the scene, as I watched her go, knowing we had just broken up for good.

-----

We used to be so happy. We never fought. It was like fighting was not in our vocabulary. We were the happy couple, the ones that were the ones to follow, the cute adorable couple.

All our friends thought so too, everyone thought we'd remain together, except for Lola. She thought we were too different to stay together. She knew it would be a matter of time before we separated.

I was never fond of Lola, I never liked her. She was such a kiss up to teachers, she had a horrible unforgiving boyfriend, Vince. They did not belong together either. I never ever forgave Vince for his actions. He would always remain the same, unchanged boy that beat up me and my friends in the tenth grade. Senior year was upon us and they still remained together. It sickened me deeply.

Those two were so happy and they didn't realize how imperfect they were for each other. Utterly disgusting, but Lola can take care of herself. Just like me and my girlfriend had been doing.

The fights started in the middle of senior year, around November. It was so little. We fought, but got back together after a couple of days. The pain was never too big, just small jabs at the heart, small jabs at my body. It never lasted, and I knew it.

Probably around the time of March then the fighting increased, became more violent, in words. No, we never fought physically, but it might as well have been.

My heart ached every time we fought, the adrenaline always ending after a few minutes after the fight, the pain and loss increasing dramatically until it became harder to breathe.

The fights became longer, lasting up to a week. Every time, I heard Lola laughing in our faces. The pain always overtook me, the loss of my girlfriend burning in my throat. Every time, I shrugged it off, but they all always knew.

We always avoided each other until we were calm enough to apologize. Words said to each other calmly, forgiveness then a kiss to seal our makeup.

Nothing, though, prepared me for that awful fight that May afternoon of our senior year, the first time she ever uttered the most hated three words in the universe. Words that she never said to anyone, not even her parents.

----

Two days after our fight became two weeks, then three weeks. The pain of losing her became a lot to bear. The fire burned in my throat from crying secretly, the tightening in my chest and stomach stayed. I loved her, and never wanted to break up with her. The fight was stupid, that was for sure. I wish it had never happened.

But it did, and no way would she ever forgive me ever again. The fight was too painful. Now we were both suffering.

I saw her after that, just glances and stuff. She looked as distant and miserable as I. But I would not confront her. She would apologize to me for saying those words, and then I would make my apologies.

I would not, however, go after any girls. Doing that just reminded me of the pain still etched inside of me. The hurt, I knew would never go away. I cared about her too much.

After eighteen years of being alone, I finally found a girl that cared about me and then ended up breaking my heart within a year.

And I knew this feeling would never go away. I loved her. But I was too chicken to apologize to her.

It was a warm May evening, the end of May, coming up to graduation. I was in Sushi Roxs alone, stirring my root beer with my straw slowly. Then she entered, with her ex boyfriend.

The pain that remained in the back of my mind and body came full out again, jealousy coursing my veins as she sat, smiling her pearly white smile as that guy helped her sit. Finally he learned to be a gentleman, I thought miserably.

I want to desperately go up to her and apologize for my actions then punch her date out. Well, I presumed he was her date.

But I wouldn't. I controlled my anger as I sipped my root beer, my eyes staring at her directly.

She didn't notice. Of course she didn't, she was too busy laughing at a joke that guy was trying to tell her. I wanted to cry at that minute, wanting to do something to show I was affected by the breakup more than I should be. But I couldn't. It was too embarrassing. A guy like me crying over a girl like her. Preposterous!

I made up my mind to talk to her tomorrow though. I had to be strong and get back together with her. If I didn't, I would be emotionally hurt for life. Even just apologizing would get the guilt off of me.

Yes, that is what I'll do, I decided calmly as I kept watching her, not noticing the door to Sushi Roxs open.

Everything changed so fast. My heart started beating quickly as I wished I could have noticed the dark figure at the door. There was no time to react.

Voices started speaking quickly as Kazu and the man confronted. Everyone froze in shock as the man brought out a familiar yet unfamiliar object, I didn't recognize personally but had seen.

The death weapon of doom, black and most likely cold. A gun.

Pleading came across Kazu's lips as the man laughed, pointing the gun and talking. I didn't understand anything they were saying, I was too frozen in fear. I looked at the girl across the room, my ex girlfriend. Our eyes connected, each saying the same thing: help.

The fear rose up in my chest, emotional pain shooting across me like daggers of ice. I felt like throwing up, the bile rising in my throat. I was worried about one thing, and one thing only: the girl that I loved across the room, nearest to the gunman.

I desperately wanted to keep her safe, wanted to hold her in my arms and tell her how much I love her.

Hope rose in me that maybe the gunman would just leave and not hurt anybody.

My hope suddenly came crashing down as the shots and screams started.

Chaos was everywhere. People ran around frantically, trying to escape. People hid under tables, running like mad. I stayed frozen by the wall, watching everything unravel.

I kept my eyes on her and her date. I didn't hear Kazu's screams before he died, I didn't see Stacey Dillson scream in terror before she collapsed in a pool of her own blood. I didn't even notice Dustin Brooks grab his date before getting shot in the leg. I just kept my eyes on her.

She was watching her date, her own ex boyfriend, get shot, falling to his own death. I wanted to smirk, saying that it was meant to be, the old scum deserved to die for making her happy. But I just couldn't move. She was up on her feet at once, screaming and scrambling away from her dead ex as the gunman pointed the gun at her.

My heart pounded louder than ever, my pain and fear hitting me full force, freezing me as the single gunshot changed my life forever.

She didn't have any time to react. The bullet entered her chest. She fell in a tangled heap, her leg hitting a chair as it fell over.

My whole life changed as the sirens started, getting closer. I watched the gunman run out before I moved. I ran past all the bodies, either dead or injured, lying on the ground. I didn't stop until I reached her.

I bent down beside her, tears forming in my own eyes. She was struggling to breathe, her hair pooled out on the floor, her chest dripping with blood.

I scooped her up in my arms, thankful she was with me again, warmth tricking down my arms. I felt whole again, even though she was dying.

Her eyes were slightly glazed. She looked up at me, struggling to find her voice.

"Lo-gan," she rasped. I put my finger to her lips. I fixed her skewed glasses, putting them upright, her chocolate brown eyes looking up at me.

"Don't say anything. Save your breath," I told her softly. She nodded slowly as she looked down at her bleeding chest then back up at me. My eyes definitely filled with tears. She was dying, and there was nothing I could do.

"I'm-so-so-sorry," she managed to say. I smiled softly as I pressed my lips to her forehead. I shook my head quickly as I also struggled to breathe, though for me it was for different reasons.

"No, I'm sorry. I was a jerk, a complete jerk. I didn't mean any of it Quinn," I told her. I didn't want her to die; I wanted her to stay with me forever more. She took several deep breaths. I vaguely heard sirens coming closer, voices all around. But really, it was just me and her in the room, nobody else. She smiled as much as she could as she opened her mouth again.

"I-I love you," she managed to say. I smiled, though tears were falling down my face.

"I love you too Quinn," I told her. She seemed content at that, happy she could hear those words as her breathing slowed. I pressed my lips to hers once more, knowing if she died, that was what she would want. Oh heck, we both knew she was dying. I didn't like it though.

My chest tightened, the pain rising up as her eyes fluttered, looking up at me before closing completely. Seconds later, I felt her stop breathing, and in that moment a part of me died with her, the pain so bad and unbearable, I felt like I couldn't breathe. She was dead, I knew it. She was gone, and I would never be with her again. I would never see her alive, hear her bubbling laugh, apologize for everything I did wrong, kiss her as if she were the only girl in the world. Nothing would ever be the same to me.

I didn't hear the voices around me as paramedics came, I didn't feel someone tap me on the shoulder. When someone ripped my love out of my hands, I knew but was too far gone to realize it. Quinn was gone, and I was gone too.

-----

The funeral was simple. It was the day of graduation, we mourned over everyone that died that day. Kazu, Mark, Stacey, Walter, Rebecca, Quinn. Dustin was in a wheelchair, as the bullet that entered his leg hit a specific part of his body that somehow froze both his legs.

After we all graduated, I went to Seattle to attend Quinn's funeral. Every one of my friends did. Zoey and Chase were speechless, Michael was very upset, as was Lisa, Lola was heartbroken and Vince was sad he couldn't get to know Quinn.

As for me, I hadn't spoken a word since she died, it was too painful. After everyone left after we buried her, I stayed behind. I knelt at her gravestone, reading it.

_Quinn Isobel Pensky_

_March 21__st__, 1991-May 27__th__, 2009_

_Loving daughter, friend and girlfriend_

_May she rest in peace_

I sighed as I laid one single lily on her gravestone, her favourite flower I remembered. I looked up to the clouds, practically feeling Quinn watching over us. I knew I would never fall in love like I did with Quinn ever again. But I would try to be happy for Quinn's sake. I would go to college, just like she wanted, and I would be happy for her. I wouldn't forget her, ever. I would never be with her again, well someday I would.

But knowing she was watching over us made all the difference. And the pain would go away, eventually. I just had to be patient.

I stood up and whispered, "I love you Quinn. I'll never forget you. Goodbye," before leaving the graveyard, the wind blowing softly.

**See, I told you depressing. I hope you liked it, cause I wrote it, in like, an hour. Well, review. And yes, it is sad that Quinn and Logan were the couple, but I was in that mood.**

**And I have many more oneshots to come, so wait for those! Now I'm going to bed!**


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